"I Don't Know What the Likes of Me Can Do"

    Many years ago I had a professor who intimated that, contrary to the evidence of our eyes, he was indeed Gandalf. He was just in disguise since getting a sword through the airport would have been slightly tricky. That semester, I began earnestly developing my love for literature, and Tolkien's Lord of the Rings in particular. Since then, I have on average read Tolkien's epic once a year.

    Over the last couple of years, I have been particularly struck by a piece of conversation that takes place fairly early in the story. Frodo and Aragorn have just related to Barliman Butterbur, an innkeeper, that in helping them he will be facing forces from Mordor. In light of this information, they want to know whether he still wants to assist them. Tolkien relates his answer this way:

 "I am," said Mr. Butterbur. "More than ever. Though I don't know what the likes of me can do against, against---" he faltered.

"Against the shadow in the East," said Strider quietly. "Not much, Barliman, but every little helps."¹

    This idea of inability, or limited agency, recurs repeatedly through Tolkien's saga. Examples could include Frodo's "I do not know the way" in Rivendell, Theoden's description of himself as a lesser man, Denethor's despair at winning the war with Mordor, and Sam's reluctance to continue the quest when he thinks Shelob has killed Frodo. Each of these moments in their way capture Barliman Butterbur's "I don't know what the likes of me can do." Each of these characters is brought to face with how small they are in the face of the evil they are opposing.

    Part of the refreshment in Tolkien's story is that he does not undermine this question, but rather gives it  full weight. In the hands of a slightly more contemporary storyteller, one would expect the protagonist to discover that they were uniquely equipped to address the evil they find in the world. The apparent limits on their agency end up being limits of perception, rather than limits in reality. Without discounting the value of those storylines, it is worth noting that Tolkien generally supports his character's assessment of themselves. Even when it turns out that they were stronger than they realized, their additional strength does not give them the resources to successfully confront the evil in Middle Earth.

    And yet, they do win. How? Before we can fully explore that answer, we ought to look at Madeline L'Engle's Wrinkle in Time series. Specifically, the second book in that series, A Wind in the Door.

    In A Wind in the Door, the Murry family's youngest, Charles, is dying, but for no reason which doctors can identify. As his older sister, Meg, seeks to discover the case of and heal Charles' illness, the reader is taken on a trip that spans from galaxies to cells in the human body. A key point that is brought out in the story is that all members of creation are interconnected and have specific roles to play relative to each other: ". . . we all need each other. Every atom in the universe is dependent on every other."² Because of this need of each for the others, "A fara or a man or a star has his place in the universe, but nothing created is the center."³ Not being in the center does not detract from one's importance. Rather, it recognizes that no one person or thing is all-important, requiring no support from others. In the end, Charles is healed, but only as a result of everyone else playing their part. Separation leads to disorder and chaos. Unity, though, brings greater harmony and order.

    Return to Barliman Butterbur. The fact that my own resources and efforts are minuscule in the face of the disorder and injustice in the world is quite obvious. More often than not, I find myself repeating with him, "I don't know what the likes of me can do." What both Tolkien and L'Engle affirm is that when this is our perspective, we are grasping an essential truth. On our own, we cannot defeat evil. However, that is not the end of the story. They go on to remind us that "every little helps",  and "every atom in the universe is dependent on every other." We cannot personally right what is wrong with the world. But, the interconnections in the world mean that the effects of our small actions ripple out in ways we rarely can anticipate.

    In the end, I am sure that this is rehashing ideas that others have done a better job explaining. Still, with the general unrest in the world, we have all been faced in a new way with our inadequacies. Like me, perhaps, you need the reminder that "can I make a significant enough difference" ought to be reframed to "what can I do now?" It may not be much--but, it was never supposed to be much. It was supposed to be the piece that supported the work of those around you.

What are particular wrongs in the world which capture your attention?

What skill sets or strengths do you have which allow you to speak to those wrongs?

---

Notes and References

1. J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord Of The Rings (Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company, 1993), 185.

2. Madeleine L'Engle, A Wrinkle in Time Trilogy (New York: Square Fish, 2012), 441.

3. Ibid., 431.

Good Community is Annoying Community

The purpose of community is annoyance. That is, we need our community to annoy us. Put practically, if your community is not annoying you, you're not getting all you could out of it.

This idea was presented by my Pastor during last Sunday's evening worship service. We were considering how God often uses other people to change us into Christ's image. As a member of a large family, I can attest to the truth of this statement! This being the case, you should expect the members of your community to be annoying at times. If we are not being annoyed, then we are not growing into Christ's image. Unless of course you are Jesus' mirror image, but if you are think that, you're probably not there yet.

So, how annoying is your community? If you are never annoyed by them, odds are you are not really interacting with them enough. Consider some of these thoughts on being in a community and start jumping in a little more. It's not easy and will hurt some, but it's one of the ways that we can open ourselves to God's sanctifying process.

How has your community annoyed your recently? What has this taught you about yourself and helped you grow in Christ's image?

I'm Actually Impressed with the Israelites

We are forgetful people. This was impressed on me when my pastor asked us a month or so ago for the top 2 times we had seen God at work recently, in either our lives or the lives of those around us. I'm sorry to say, I couldn't think of a single instance. That isn't to say that God hasn't been at work, but it does say something about my memory of His workings.

Looking at this from a different perspective, my pastor took us to Exodus 14-15. In this passage the Egyptian army is drowned in the Red Sea, the people of Israel praise the Lord for his deliverance, travel through the wilderness for 3 days, and then begin complaining about the lack of water. Now I don't know about you, but I've always seen the Israelites as "The Complainers." They see God's miraculous works time and time again, yet still seem to be able to quickly slip into complaining. As my pastor pointed out though, they went three days before they started complaining. This was followed up with the question: How long do you go through life before you start complaining? Those three days of the Israelites is much more impressive now, isn't it?

As the sermon progressed, one specific way was highlighted to combat our forgetful tendency: Regularly attend corporate worship services with your local Body of Believers. One of the reasons we should gather to worship as a body on Sunday mornings is to remind ourselves of God's greatness and mighty acts from the past, present, and future. Because of our individual forgetfulness, we need to come together as a Church Body to help reorient our focus back on Christ and off our individual situations.

On the flip side of the coin, we should also look to actively share with others how the Lord has been working in our lives. This was impressed on me as while reading the Psalms for my personal Bible Study. Consider Psalm 35:18 and 28 (ESV):

"I will thank you in the great congregation;
in the mighty throng I will praise you....
Then my tongue shall tell of your righteousness
                and of your praise all the day long."

So the challenge to us is two fold: 1. Are we feeling down, and in a dry place in my walk with the Lord? We mustn't let that stop us from gathering with fellow believers. In fact, we probably need their insight and encouragement to help us to focus back on Christ. 2. Is the Lord working in our lives? Great! Who did we tell about it? We can't hold the good news to ourselves! On that note, here are some of the things that I have to be grateful to the Lord for, small and personal perhaps, but they are ways that I have seen His presence in my life--a decent grade on a paper which I didn't know whether the prof would agree with - peace in answer to prayer during a troubled moment last night - conviction of sin from Scripture reading.

What about you? How has the Lord been working in your life recently?